Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The night

Violent, Violate
Bash my mind in,
Pieces with a brick.
You love to hate me,
Love to take me,
Break me
Break me,
in a million
P I E C E S.

I lie scattered on your sadistic mind.
Your forceful passion,
Breaks me
Breaks me down.

The intensity of pain,
The silence of toture.
As my soul bleeds out,
Bleeds out.
Red stained hearts,
You lick my blood,
Your laughter echoes,
Through the night.
I died,
Lifeless you bathe me.

Tommorow you will break me down

Down again.


the walking man said...

Pretty intense there kiddo. Try some kind of sleeping pill to get away from the night. Well done, well constructed. Consider dropping the last line and adding the word "again" at the end of the line above it with a line break at "will."

Tracy said...


Not very uplifting, but I'm not thinking that's the mood you were going for. ;o)

Drizel said...

hahahahah, thank goodness I am over it just still have the memory I guess:)
Sounds like a good idea. Thank you very much.

Drizel said...

:) no not really thanks:)

Charles Gramlich said...

I'm not gonna want to know the character this could be about.

Drizel said...

Hihihihih Charles, you telling me :)

laughingwolf said...

*shuddering*... not a nice place to be :(

Drizel said...


lilabraga said...

a superb post today..truly well writing

Drizel said...

Thank you Lila:)

Wayne Allen Sallee said...

I like the line about being scattered across his psychotic mind. Surreal.

Drizel said...

Thanks Wayne. I think its time for a new post, maybe I will make one tonight, thanks for always reading:)

Wayne Allen Sallee said...

Reading it again just now. Love the first two words as single words with periods. A perfect construct.

Drizel said...

Thanks Wayne:)

amr said...

that is an amazing post
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