Thursday, April 21, 2011
Screaming child of mine.
One more sleepless night, one more day clinging onto ones sanity. She never stops crying, over and over her screams rip through my soul.
Walk up and down, up and down, the darkness knows what we are going through. I need a break just a short one, please someone; anyone help me!
Sing, sing, dance, dance, please little one, I don't know what to do.
Cries turn into bellowing demonic whispers, please stop, shuuuussshhhhh. "Mommy understands": I say knowing I have no clue. I know it will just get worse, with every passing hour, she will scream breathless into the night.
Until I feel like I hate her, until she makes me cry too. How a precious gift can be such a horrific nightmare.
I put her down in the middle of my bed, screaming, screaming her sorry song.
I sit in the corner rocking myself, singing a pathetic song trying to calm myself, calm the darkness, calm the world.
It's nights like these that makes me loose my mind.
"My baby never stopped screaming for the first 3 months of her life, no one knew why. Colic, hunger, allergies, me? Eventually the crying stopped, now we do get along better, she is lovely. She is 17 months now.
If you have no one to take a screaming baby you will loose your mind, the sound they make is horrible. So this is just me saying to new moms out there: If you feel alone and useless it's ok, we all felt that way. Give yourself a break you are doing the best you can. Get someone to watch the baby for a few hours a week and just get yourself back. This too will pass.
I love my little monster:)"