Thursday, September 06, 2007

The revenge


The Write stuff blog is hosting a writting competition and I decided to enter...So preddy please vote for me:)

Their link: http://www.take2max.com/writing/2007/08/31/sticky-short-story-contest/ ( I could not get the link to work....so hence the entire Http:))

Here is my story.

She moves across the roof tops now with a fierce hate, this time she is out to get blood of a specific person. A chance victim will not do today; she wants him to pay for what he did to Allison. She runs faster now, the wind blowing past her skin leaves a soft frost over her cheeks. Not really noticing the cold she moves on, but then again she never notices heat either. She has been in the sun and it made her skin red, it stings but being powerful all she does is focus past the pain. The city is pink as the lights play with her emotions.

He better be where Roland said he will be, or it will be Roland’s blood spilled too. She dashes through Trafalgar Square and gets to the pub where he plays the drunken fool. She enters; the music is horrible, with childish rhythm and boring words. She knows this is the type of foul place he would spend his drunken hours. The wall oozes with his ignorance. She tilts her head slightly left and scans the room; she picks up a faint scent of him. It is hidden between beer and urine smells; he must be in the bathroom. She walks slowly past a man and woman hanging onto each other, both of them are drunk.
She looks at them, their faces numb from emotion, and she scans their thoughts. Lustful, drunken needs arise in both of them, humans are such disgusting creatures. These two humans would not have even looked at each other in the street and now in their drunken state their needs arise in drunken lust. She looks to the corner as she passes the tables, a man lying on his arms, mumbling to himself about how he never knew she would leave him. He seems so pathetic, and she almost feels sorry for him.

Down the hall way her body glides, another drunken human grabs her bottom and says: “Heya love, you fancy some snogging; I bet ya you can show me heaven.” She turns around her eyes are discolored to red as she is ready for the prey that waits for her in the men’s bathroom. With one glance the man runs off in a hysterical fit. She get a slight tingle of pleasure down her spine, it would have been fun to go after the drunken fool. Her hunt is directed tonight and she cannot let her excitement of chasing a crazy drunk get the better of her at this crucial time. She walks to the men’s bathroom; human urine is such a foul smell. Yellow and thick it enters her nostrils; she has no need to vomit as she is freed from gagging this is a special gift that came with her powers. The strong stench just makes her remember the years when humans were dirty all the time. It might seem that this era is better, not by a long shot, humans are more violent now, they might be clean but their ideas are worse than ever. Modern times and games do not scare her in fact she has quite an infatuation with some of the human pleasures.

She opens the door and he is there, peeing in the urinal and swaying from side to side, all she smells now is his blood. The low life will pay for what he did to Allison; she is only 15 years old. She kept track of her family through all the years; she is now 200 years a non-mortal. Trapped in this vampire body, and she keeps her family safe and guides them where needed, and this pig hurt Allison. She waits patiently and he pulls up his zip. She secured the door, there is no way he can get out or away from her. He turns around, and he looks at her leather pants and her black corset, the fool did not see her white skin and her red eyes. He is too filled with his disgusting manly need. His speech is slurred and she does not really want to hear what he has to say. She walks to him and grabs him by the neck, he struggles, must be such an awful feeling for a man to have no power against such a small woman. She digs her nails into his neck and a thin line of blood runs down onto his cheap shirt. He is now gasping like a fish out of water and she cannot contain her pleasure for his pain anymore and she laughs.

“No” he gasps through his breath.

“No, is something that I do not know, like you forgot what it means the night you followed Allison home” Her voice is hate.

She rests him against the wall and pushes her fangs through his sweaty skin, the part she despises most, the salty, bitter taste of human sweat. It repulses her, but she knows once she gets to the blood she will be relieved of the taste. She feels how the blood bursts into her mouth, thick and warm, strong taste of iron, rough on the tongue. Living through the pleasure as he kicks and fights against her. He stops moving and she lets go of his lifeless body. She looks at him as he lies there opened eyed gazing at the flickering lights between urinals.

“Sorry sweetheart, I just had an itch I needed to scratch”

18 comments:

Brian said...

Great story my sister, but my vote is pledged to Rose. :)

Is this part of your larger book?

etain_lavena said...

ofcourse you vote for Rose I would not want it any other way.
No its just a once off story I wrote:)

Write Stuff said...

Hi etain!

I counted 909 words in your story. Good work! Good luck in the contest and thanks for entering!

Karen

paisley said...

oh etain... that was marvelous... simply marvelous.... i loved it...left me wanting more!!!!

Charles Gramlich said...

Good luck in the contest. I'll vote.

Mardougrrl said...

Great kicker ending...and I love vampire stories. Wonderfully atmospheric.

Manictastic said...

Vampires are kool. :) Nice story.

Top cat said...

Wonderful writing etaina, very visual, I lived every word.
I'm going to vote for you and I'll post the link for you.:)
tc

HAR said...

Hello,
Corky sent me over via his blog.
I am going to vote for you. Good luck!

the walking man said...

uhhh as long as I stay out of bars 9pubs) will you stay on your side of the pond?

Peace

TWM

Anonymous said...

To Brian:
Not your siter, and you can vote for Rose but please don't cry when my SISTER WIN. Sus, this is Excellent my vote will be for you. Love you lots (mis jou baie)Tel.

Anonymous said...

Really awesome stuff!!! You go girl and you definitely have my vote!! :o) Dee

Reenen said...

This is really, really well written.

I like the mental aspect of it. Good luck, and all of the best!

etain_lavena said...

Paisly: soooo happy you enjoyed it:)

Charles: thank you kindly:)

Mardougrrl: I love kicker endings.Thanks:)

Manictastic: Thanks, yes I am crazy about vampires:)

TC: YAY, thanks for that and for you vote:)

Har: Thanks:)

The walking man: I will try my best to stay this side......gggrrrr:)

Sus: Dankie baie, :)....love en mis jou net soo super baie.

Dee: thanks chicky:)

Reenen: thanks that means alot to me:)

HUGZ everybody:)

Nosjunkie said...

Hey girl!
this is great as per usual.
I hope you dont mind I borrowed your pic for my blogg.
If you want just say the word and I will remove it.

by the way I just checked the score on the compitition and your way ahead in the running.
like duh

(sorry I didnt ask first but we live in different time zones now)

etain_lavena said...

Hi Nos.

Its ok, I dont mind....:)
yes I saw I am ahead, how exiting:)
HUGZ
:)

Sharon said...

Oh..my..word.. this story gives me the chills down my spine!!! You have my vote for sure, and oh ja you sis misses you so blerry much!!!

etain_lavena said...

Thanks Sharon, I won in the end:)......yes I miss my sister just as much each day I think about my fadamily;)