Monday, August 27, 2007
Love will last
Sitting by the window he looks like a stone statue, never moving just breathing. I want to tell him I still love him, like when we where still young. The days we where in love and now he just sits there. I am not sure if he hears my cries at night, missing his embrace, missing his soft whispers that he loves me. He always was so gentle in my slumber I could feel him pulling me closer. Now they need to help him into bed, we don't share a bed anymore. He once lied on top of me and because he could not move he nearly killed me, so the doctors decided, no more sharing.
I watch them feed him everyday, see the dead expression in his eyes. He had such a dazzle in his smile and lights in his eyes. He had a naughty smile that made me melt.
He could pic me up and carry me around like I had no weight at all, now he just sits and stares. The other peoples kids come and visit, and then their gran children come and climb on his lap, sometimes there runs a tear down his cheek. We could never have kids, we never had that privilege. The cemo made me very sick and my body rejected two fetuses. He stood by me and loved me even if I had nothing more to offer him.
Our live was happy and he was the lost part of my soul, even if his body cannot do what it could I will still be here every day. I will remind him of our holiday in Monaco. The beaches we walked in Spain, and all the love we made in all the countries we visited. I sometimes blush to think we where so wild and free. I would not want it any other way, we had love every day.
He sits there and stare out the window, his body tired and wrinkled, he is still the man I love.
I softly whisper in his ear: "No, matter what happens I still love you" He smiles with the one side of his mouth and I kiss his forehead.
I saw a add for a documentary about an elderly couple the husband had Alzheimer's and he could barely move....it is sad, so sad.