Thursday, March 08, 2007

Renewal


This is based on the word(Renewal) that Stewart asked everybody to write about, I wrote this......

Vernuwing

Twee oë sien ‘n land.
Skaam en seer,
Aan dorsting saad.
Was skoon.
Ken my in minute;
Verdryf my in genade.

Twee lippe om jou aan te lok.
Klam en vol,
Lek jou skoon van haat.
Was skoon.
Proe genot in tye;
Lek die soete sagte aarde

Twee hande vat aan sand.
Grof en sku,
Aan muur en land.
Was skoon.
kan nie sien dat dit verdwyn;
voel hoe die grond my nader vat.

Twee borste wat hy wou verken.
Sag en teer,
Stewig vas gevang in genot.
Was skoon.
die nuwe more sal jou vind;
plesier dorstig in die aarde gegrond.

Twee ore wat jou siel wil hoor.
Flou en vol berou,
Aan pyn en smart gehang.
Was skoon.
hoor die kleur van geur;
roep die vrede nader.

Twee bene om jou in te trek.
Vernuwing in ‘n smaak beraad.
Smaaklik in die oe se kleur,
Passie in die oor bekoor.
Sien my, proe my, voel my, hoor my;
In vernuwing.


Renewal

Two eyes to see a country.
Shy and sore,
In thirsty seed.
Wash clean.
know me in minutes;
chase me in glory.

Two lips to draw you closer.
Damp and full,
Lick you clean from hate.
Wash clean.
taste pleasure at times;
lick the soft sweet earth.

Two hands feel the sand.
Rough and less,
On wall and land.
Wash clean.
wannot see how it disappears;
feel how the ground pulls me close.

Two breasts that you want to explore.
Soft and tender,
Firmly caught in pleasure.
Wash clean.
the new morning will find you;
pleasure thirsty caught in earthly tight.

Two ears that want to hear your soul.
Weak and filled with regret,
Hanged in pain and sorrow.
Wash clean.
hear the colour of flavour;
call the peace closer.

Two legs to pull you inside.
Renewal in a tasting frenzy,
Tasty in the colour of eyes.
Passion wooed within ears,
See me, taste me, feel me, hear me;
In renewal.

25 comments:

Brian said...

Great poem. I enjoyed the repetition of the phrase wash clean in each stanza.

The renewal at the end ties back to the thirsty seed in the beginning.

Two questions if I may. What language do you write in first, and our the poems similar in rhythm the same?

And, have you considered participating in Poetry Thursday?

DewyKnickers said...

Love it. :) So... gripping, the sense of the past in the present. Looking for a new birth in renewal.

Rose

xo

etain_lavena said...

well I would love to participate....but how?
and it is Afrikaans my first language.
And yes the Rhythm is the same for both....I translate it to english:)

etain_lavena said...

Thanks Rose:)

Charles Gramlich said...

I like seeing your poetry in the original. Even though I can't read most of it, I can pick up some of the flavor and sense the rhythm. Great piece.

etain_lavena said...

Thanks you Charles:)

miss magic said...

terrific poem! I am now officially addicted to your site. :)
the site for poetry thursday is www.poetrythursday.org yeah, you should join it. :D
yet again, great poem!

Wayne Allen Sallee said...

etain, the repetition of wash clean is very very important to this piece, almost the opposite, i guess, of erasure.

Brian said...

Poetry Thursday.

Every Sunday a new prompt is posted. You can write a poem based on that prompt, or anything you like. At 12:05am on Thursday West Coast Time, which would be just after noon your time Thursday, you go there and leave a permalink and comment to your post with the poem.

Then you go and read and comment. So far this week, there are 90 comments posted. I think your poems are great and you would have lots of visitors.

Matt said...

I like it!

Btw, was that first language Afrikans?

Stewart Sternberg said...

I agree with many of the above. I liked the repetition and the pacing. And like Charles, seeing the poem in the original adding something indefinable for me.

"Wash clean...the morning will find you." I had an emotional response to this poem that I can't explain. It made me at once sad, but it was calming. This probably makes no sense to you.

Susan Miller said...

Simply beautiful, etain. We all need to enjoy some sweet redemption in our lives, don't we? I do so love how you put it.

etain_lavena said...

Thank you kindly Susan and yes we do!!!!

etain_lavena said...

And o ja Matt it is Afrikaans.....
And Stewart funny enough I get what you said:)

gugon said...

I thought this poem was incredible. Beautiful - and with a sense of catharsis and redemption.

Kate S said...

Lovely

Crunchy Carpets said...

That is beautiful..the rhythm is hypnotic and pulls you along.

etain_lavena said...

Thank you Gugon/kate/crunchy.
Appreciate your visit:)

Travis said...

This poem really is beautiful. And I'll add my appreciation to you for placing the Afrikaans version first. Seeing it in this language deepened my enjoyment.

"Two ears that want to hear your soul..." That line struck me very powerfully.

Wonderful.

Lucas Pederson said...

Amazing. I have no other words for it. I like both versions. Both ring beautifully to the ear. Great work!!!

etain_lavena said...

Thank you Travis......that is also one of my fav lines:)
Thanks Lucas, Afrikaans can be very entrancing:)

Turnbaby said...

I felt this poem, both in the original and in the translation. The rythmn to me evoked waves lapping a beach. The repetition of 'wash clean' is so effective. It's such a sensual poem.

etain_lavena said...

thank you turn:)

Wayne Allen Sallee said...

hmnnn. i comment on your best writing yet and you do not acknowledge me in your replies. ah well, perhaps in another hemisphere...

etain_lavena said...

Sorry Wayne, I am sometimes deurmekaar(confuced)...I am sorry.
Thanks for the comment, the repitition is what made me eel it more:)