Wednesday, April 29, 2015


Anilise van ingewande
breek uit,
breek op.
begin oor.
Stuk vir stuk,
plak my hart
ek kan net dink.
ek kan net voel,
ek kan huil,
nodig om te begin.

Wie was ek?
ek was verlore,
Jy het my gevind.
Genade groot
Oor begin timmer
Jy my in vrede los.
Geen woorde beskryf
Ek giggel
My hart vry
Jy so welkom hier.

Breek op
Breek weg,
Tot net Jou glorie
Vervul word.


Much deeper than word
Wider than perception
I long for your touch
I am in love with you.
Fill my heart, overflow my soul.

I long for every breath,
To touch my skin
Fill my soul.
Darkness fade where you gaze
Touch me now burn my soul.
Like a flame of love

Wonder of God,
My greatest desire.
Set my soul on fire,
To be free in You.
Dance in freedom,
Grace my greatest desire.
I am in love with you.

Thursday, February 19, 2015


I want to write again, where do I start? I miss the soft caress of words through my mind. I need the lines between sentences to find the time. I beat my mind with endless thoughts and endless questions of unanswered rhymes. I guess the only way is to start again, words will flow through restless mind and experienced momentum.

Beat down the wall, words need escape, silence seems nothing more than broken pieces of empty pages.

Dare I say I AM BACK.

Friday, April 11, 2014


Sometimes I miss writing, but I love the life I have now, busy, crazy and filled with daily fun.  Life has a funny way in teaching you what it means with moments flying by.  For now my words rest in my heart and I know when the time comes they will come out again in the poetry I use to talk in.  The stories that I have will find it's way out, and in the end my life is what it should be.

With every season in your life certain things grow and others fade, but this does not mean you have to mourn the changes.  NO it means you can celebrate what you have now, how you think, talk and react.  Maybe I finally grew up, maybe I finally found the peace I so needed. The words and thoughts I have now is calmer, and I speak a different language, to find my voice in the new improved me is what is needed.

Keep smiling in the end it really is not as bad as you think.

Monday, February 03, 2014

My family has perfection in bliss.

I have so much on my mind, but this is all good.  I have plans for the future.  Plans to write, and plans to be silent. Plans to build a life extraordinary. It does not have to special to the outside world, it needs to be special for me, my husband and my daughter.  We are living a life of joy.
Our wedding.

If you do not listen to what song the wind plays, or what lyrics the birds sing, you miss out.  Working in the vegetable garden, swimming, dancing and being silly might seem like nothing to the outside world.  For our family this is everything filled with bliss.

We laugh together, we play together, we eat together and most important we pray together.

Be blissful in your own delights.

Thursday, January 02, 2014

When God decides it's enough.

It has been a very long time since I wrote anything, and during this time my life has dramatically changed. 
The last post was so strange, when I read it now I cannot believe that was me. I took on God and I did not realize it with my mind, but my soul knew exactly what it was doing. 

God was a bit upset off course and he put me in my place, but not in the way I thought he would. He shook me, to the very darkest pit of my soul.  

It all started one morning on my way to work as I pleaded alone with Him in my car, in a desperate “last” attempt to get some clarity into why I can not find God, or understand life for that matter.   AND Why I had this horrible dark pit inside of me.  I was so far lost, that no words can explain clearly how black my black was.  Yes on the outside I was always smiling, what else is there?  You must put on your brave face and just go on I had a daughter and I had to look after her no matter what. That morning in my red little car, I had enough.  God you pop up everywhere in my life but all I have is depression and anxieties, resentment and memories of horrific events.  I read and read and read, meditate and heaven only knows what other nonsense to try and find YOU, but you just never come closer to me.  When I had a minute that morning I wrote the poem I posted on my blog and just tried to get through the day.

The months that followed seem to only happen in books and as my life now unfolds, I often sit back in awe.  I feel I need to tell my story, I need to first have a conversation with God on what He thinks I should share and if anything.  He has given me the gift of words and if I am to write my journey, it needs a divine Guide.

I have missed all the blogging friends, and also missed reading and sharing......please take care and I hope 2014 is a blessed year for everyone.